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Originally published in 1939
Some of this information may no longer be current and in that case is presented for historical interest only.
Edited by GET NJ, COPYRIGHT 2002
A fishy odor also permeates the stories told about "Stretch" Garrison,
who had a farm on the Maurice River near Delaware Bay. One day he
happened to catch a shark. He slipped the anchor rope and let the fish
tow him for a while. The creature headed up the river at such a rate that
he ripped out the oyster beds for 50 yards on each side. There wasn't
much water in the river, but the shark kept right on and dug a new channel for five miles up to Stretch's landing. By that time he was too worn
out to go any farther, so Stretch tied him up, and fetched a bridle, saddle,
and spade bit. After several months he finally trained the shark to gee and
haw. Stretch made a lot of money riding the shark up and down the river
every day delivering the United States mail.
Stretch was a scientific agrarian. He had trained a couple of cows to
plow, so he didn't need any horses. At night he would milk the cows and
pour the milk into a churn. The churn was rigged up to a treadmill on
which the cows stood. Before he left the barn, Stretch would put a forkful
of alfalfa hay in the rack in front of the cows, just out of reach. The
cows stood there pawing the treadmill all night trying to reach the hay,
and next morning the milk would be churned to butter. Continuous reaching made the cows grow bigger every day, and this gave Stretch an idea.
He had a young rooster named Big Boy, which he started to feed off the
top of a box. Next week he put the feed on top of a sugar barrel. Big Boy
did nothing all day long but jump up and down, stretching every muscle.
After a while he got big enough and strong enough to pull a truck. Stretch
had to feed him from the roof of the porch, and had to use a concrete
mixer to prepare his feed.
One day Stretch mixed up a batch of concrete, colored it green, flavored
it with corn liquor, and fed it to Big Boy. The rooster ate up every bit of
it, and when it hardened he turned to stone. Stretch gave him to the city
fathers, who put him on top of the power plant and wired him for light
and sound; he made a fine fire siren. But they finally had to take him
down, because all the roosters in the vicinity were so jealous that they
crowed at him night and day.
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