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: The Urban Times News
: Jay Stevens--email:jstevens@urbantimesnews.com

: Gift Horses

: You would think that these days with government cutbacks, budget cuts and what have you, local governments would be glad to accept gifts when and where they could be had.  Right now, there are two bizarre situations where strapped-for-cash local governments are desperately fighting off gifts from well-intentioned, but apparently misguided donors.  One is here in Hoboken where a well-established developer is menacing the city with the threat of a waterfront park at his own expense and none to the City.  

: Another thug, this one an internationally recognized artist, is trying to force a gift of $10 Million on the beleaguered and nearly defenseless and hapless city.   Somebody do something!  

: Over in Hoboken, developer Sandy Weiss, head of Manhattan builders took it upon himself to offer the city a 20,000 square foot waterfront park, a sculpture garden.  In his unbridled and shameless arrogance, the ruthless Weiss has threatened to pay the entire expense of the park.  Naturally, the citizens have fought back as best they could, but the outcome, still hanging in doubt, is unclear.  The forces of evil will probably prevail and crush the resistance.  

: Weiss, a successful developer whose company has just been acquired by a NYSE company, Toll Brothers, is determined and has major backing. And the citizens, an unpaid, ragtag volunteer political militia group are no match for the developer, determined at all costs to give something back to the city where he has done so well. We can only wish them well in their valiant effort to stave off this heinous enhancement. 

: Very coincidentally, over in Jersey City, and at the same time a similar scenario is playing out.  There the villain is a Russian artist.  It is not Boris Badenov.  His name is Zorab Tsereteli.  He has conned the Russian government to fund his construction of a monumental and heroic Icon to commemorate 9/11.  His plan is to construct a 100-foot tall monument, entirely free of cost to the city of Jersey City.  Right now Jersey City does not have two nickels to rub together.  Yet the city wanted to do something to commemorate 9/11.  While the city was in the throes of casting about for a solution Tsereteli struck.

: The Russian artist, taking advantage of Jersey City’s weakness, made an irresistible offer to the city of free design, construction, installation and even a feasibility study.  Try desperately as they might, city officials cannot seem to come up with a valid argument that the dastardly Ruski cannot answer.  He has even paid the entire expense of a major engineering firm to trouble shoot the entire proposal, much to the chagrin of opponents to the plan.  The insidious foreigner even seems to have anticipated many of the objections in advance and has prepared answers to every objection throw up before his representatives.  

: But do not despair.  Our public officials are infinitely resourceful and will no doubt find a way to kill this deal.  O, ye of little faith, trust upon thine public servants. If there is a way to screw this up they will find a way.  

: That way, we the taxpayers, already deeply gouged and gored, can once again dip in our pockets and pay for somebody to cast about for an artist who has constructed heroic monuments the world over, like this the unconscionable Tsereteli.  With luck, our representatives could persuade the artist when found to accept a commission for a work suitable to the place and occasion as this miscreant has.  Only this time, with good fortune, we could persuade the artist to accept several million dollars for the work.  

: The Russian government has paid for this monument for us.  If we go it alone, we will also have to pay a few million for site work and installation.  Tsereteli has arranged for all that.  Naturally we will fight tooth and nail to resist him.  We will get an artist of our choosing, and pay ourselves.  You gotta love it here.  Yaacov Smirnov was right when he said, “What a Country!” 


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