Posted by Jay Stevens, The Urban Times News on January 25, 2004 at 05:27:22:

The Urban Times News
Jay Stevens, email:jstevens@urbantimesnews.com

UNCLE HARVEY LIGHT

He sure can pick ‘em that Bob Menendez. First he backs the wrong horse here at home. That being of course Uncle Harvey. Uncle Harvey proceeds to get trounced and will now probably be the first African American sanctioned by the NAACP for disenfranchising African Americans here in Hudson County.

Next, Bob-a-Loo Bob, our friendly Congress person hits the campaign trail for Howard Dean. Oh, well. Next.

Now we are looking ahead to the next Jersey City race and here Congressman Bob is backing Bret Schundler, the Republican. Never mind that the Congressman could get in a heap of trouble with the Democratic National Committee if that should ever get out. The best part is that some of Bob’s own supporters are laughing about this one and already some of them are calling Bret, “Uncle Harvey Light.”

HERE COME ‘DA PUDGE

Remember how Flip Wilson had everybody saying “Here come da Judge? We have modified that for use by Earl “Ugly Duckling” Morgan. Come to think of it, our favorite paid police informant and newspaper reporter and small time swindler, is also known as “The Hat.” So I guess one more affectionate little knick name won’t matter. When we spot him, we can now say “here come da Pudge,” and you will know who and what we mean, Ok. Because he has been coming around a lot lately and now, it seems he is after us. Seems he has been hounding the building department and the health department trying to find something wrong with Real Deal Barbeque restaurant. The publisher of this paper, Bobby Jackson, and his partner, Joe Cardwell just opened the restaurant at 302 Martin Luther King Dr. as part of their investment in the community, remembering the days when MLK was a busy and thriving street of shops and restaurants, and Earl was thin. The truth is he weighed a lot less, but he was never good looking neither as a boy or as a man. Of course he has gotten bigger and uglier with his advancing years. He has gotten much uglier inside as well now that he has sold his soul.

Earl has been haunting city agencies that license restaurants like Real Deal hoping and praying to find some irregularity in the permits and licenses required for the restaurant to operate. Earl’s real problem with Real Deal is of course, Jackson and Cardwell. Jackson and Cardwell are successful African American businessmen, active in the life of the community for many years. Now here they are investing back in the community, putting their money where they both live, bringing development and revitalization. We wonder what Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. would say about that?

Earl just wrote a piece about the recently past MLK day and its observances. We also wonder what Dr. King would have said about Earl, ‘da Pudge? What would Dr. King have said about an African American journalist who has dedicated his career to undermining other African Americans? What do you suppose Dr. King would have said? We do not believe there is much guess work involved in trying to imagine what Dr. King’s comments on a guy like Earl would have been. Earl is not a bad guy, it is just that he is not really comfortable in his own skin and that is a terrible way to live. He is an African American who does not particularly care for African Americans, and that of course includes himself. Not good, and we feel for you. That, we believe is the reason that Earl has set himself the task to throw a monkey wrench in the works at the Real Deal Restaurant. It is the reason that Earl has dedicated himself for the last couple of years to the proposition of undermining and discrediting in anyway possible the administration of Jersey City’s first African American Mayor, Glenn D. Cunningham. It is the same thing driving Earl now that drove him when he was a police informant whose code name was Ugly Duckling, tipping the JCPD on the activities of the Jersey City Chapter of the Black Panther Party.

Try as he does, though, he has yet to come up with anything. The reason is simple: there is nothing to find. Trust us Earl, Organized Crime has practically unlimited resources, and if there were the least little thing that could be used against Cunningham in any way, they would have found it and used long ago.

How about a story on the Hudson County Improvement Authority? They are really corrupt and everybody knows it. Earl’s not interested, because all those guys are white and they are HCDO. It is also not difficult to see where Earl’s loyalties lie. They lie with Organized Crime, and so does Earl. What about a quick little story about Fat Joe. Not Fat Joe the rapper, Fat Joe, the Mayor of Bayonne. There is a credible story, that is a story circulating from a highly credible source that Fat Joe is about to be awarded a $70,000 a year contract with Hudson County to lobby the State Assembly for the County of Hudson. We have been unable to document this, but nobody is denying either. We think that this is a great story and maybe Earl would like to be the one to “break” it. Well, let’s see now. Joe Doria is white. He is real fat, but he is still white. Tom DeGise is white, and Bill Gaughan was originally white. He is still Caucasian, but most of the time he is somewhere between magenta and crimson depending on the day and the hour and the number of snorts he’s had. Any way, all three of them are white and on top of that, all three of them are “wheels” in Organized Crime. So Earl is probably not going to waste time on a story like that.

If Earl is truly interested in the things that Dr. King stood for why has he written not one word about the NAACP’s suit against Organized Crime for attempting to disenfranchise African American voters here? It is not too late Earl. Court convenes next Monday morning, the 26th at 9am. You can still make it. Of course that means you have to get your ample hindparts out of bed at about 7:30 write about something that you don’t seem to know much about. A lot of work, early in the morning, and you would have to write about your Organized Crime buddies taking a beating in court for what they attempted and did do to African American voters. Nah, not that one either. Well now we are beginning to understand why Real Deal is an attractive target for your “investigation.” Poor Earl has trouble finding what he considers good stories. All is not lost. We heard recently that Rev. Edward Allen may be putting on another show at the Loew's.

Where Did We Get This Guy?

Women, they say, are from Venus. And men, they say, are from Mars. Then explain, if you would, please, whence came Pat O’Melia? Pat is a man, a rather large and burley one at that. A mountain of a man he is. Picture one of the smaller Catskills or Poconos that suddenly grew feet. He is Big. And that is befitting a guy who is now a radio talk show host but who is really first and foremost a television wrestling fan and trader of tractor trailers. If you saw him you might naturally guess he was either a big-rig driver or TV wrestler himself. Naturally Pat is right at home in the rough and tumble of Hudson County’s never ending political brawl. Thanks to Anthony, you can listen to any of Pat’s shows any time you like, Online. You can listen also to Jersey City Mayor Glenn Cunningham explain how the current Hudson County political war broke out. You can hear Malcolm X predict with eerie foresight that Glenn Cunningham would be labeled a racist, decades before we came to that. As Pat himself would say, to coin a phrase, “all this and more,” including the archived recordings of Pat’s shows are all available Online.

One source has put the estimated live audience for the shows as high as an even dozen listeners on a good night. Make that an odd dozen. The shows on Monday nights at 9pm on 1430 AM draw a regular crowd of call-in listeners and hecklers that seem to be the same bunch of bananas each time according to reports.

But where did this guy Pat come from? The affable and in-spite-of-himself likable radio show host always has a way of inserting himself in the eye of most local political hurricanes and has been known to be the cause of some himself. We listening to Pat explain all the political shenanigans going on with the lives and homes of the residents and taxpayers of Jersey City over the current Battle of the Bonds.

The WAR OF THE WORLDS, And the BATTLE OF THE BONDS

Well, dear readers, we must tell you it is all fine and well that women may be from Venus and men may be from Mars and all that may even be true. And if all that is true, then Pat can only be from Uranus. Cunningham tried to push through a debt restructuring plan that would have solved a host of problems for the City for years to come. The city council, dominated by County employees blocked the move like they generally block every move Cunningham tries to make in a positive direction. This plan has been blessed by assorted rabbis, priests, imans, shamans, and, we believe, the Dalai Lama himself. We know for a fact that the daughter of the Coptic pope also likes the idea of no tax increases for at least the next ten years, and probably well past that if the council would pass the enabling ordinance.

But No, of course not, they will not do that, not because the plan is bad, but precisely because it is all that. It is so good that the County employees on the City Council, all of them dependents of the Hudson County Democratic Organization, fear that it will help Cunningham win reelection. Ironically, at least two of them, Mariano Vega, head of the County’s Department of Buildings and Public Resources and E. Junior Maldonado, Vice Executive Director of the Hudson County Improvement Authority are said to have mayoral ambitions in 2005.

How is that going to work, we wonder? Not only are they on the same political “team” but here they are, helping Boss Bill Gaughan, County Chief of Staff, do their level best to force a tax increase that they believe will cost Cunningham votes. These guys are minions of organized crime, as HCDO is known, and they would rather whack taxpayers, homeowners, low income renters, senior citizens and the like rather than go along with a plan that would strengthen Cunningham’s political position. The question is, how is a guy going to run for Mayor, say either Junior or Mariano, after they just put through big tax increases two years in a row? How is that going to work? What are these guys thinking about? They are not thinking. That is the answer. They are just following orders from their Organized Crime bosses. Echoes of Nuremburg can be heard, “I vuz chust followink ohrdehrz.” History tells us that is no defense, so we want to wish these two birds the best of luck in the coming elections. Also Boss Bill Gaughan is their immediate superior on the Council where he is the Organized Crime Capo for all of Jersey City, and on the job where he is chief of staff and where Mariano and Junior are both employed. Mariano gets $93 and Junior gets $88. Gaughan does a little better salary wise at $95 and bristles every time that is mentioned saying “I earn every penny.” We are quite certain you do, Bill.

Now here is a guy, Gaughan, who has been around a lot of years and has been on the Jersey City council for ten of those years. When he was on the council during the time of Bret Schundler, former bond salesman turned mayor, Tom DeGise was council president. Now DeGise is County Executive and Boss Bill is Chief of Staff to Tommy D. They both issued bonds helter skelter under Schundler. The city has 28 separate issues of municipal bonds outstanding and 20 of them were deals done under Schundler. The man was a bond salesman even while he was Mayor. By the way, as an interesting little historical aside, of the 20 bond deals done during the Schundler administration, fewer than half of them are documented adequately. The books are either missing, or more likely, may never have been created and never existed. The Devil is in the details. Where are the books, Bret? But we digress. Back to Venus, Mars, and Pat’s anus.

What we heard on that show could only have been pulled out of Pat’s anus, or come from some distant world. Pat had Cunningham proposing a tax increase. That’s why we questioned, first, that we had heard him correctly. Then we questioned his planetary provenance and proctology. Recently we overheard one of our reporters speaking with Pat on the phone about big increases in the County payroll. About 270 new jobs, including Bill Gaughan’s daughter and, last but not least, Uncle Harvey, our own beloved Council President, have been added to the Organized Crime “pad.” The payroll up at the County has ballooned up nicely on Boss Bill’s watch and that’s why we hate to see County tax increases.

Speaking of that there is a nice one of those coming this year. Should be not less than double what the county increase was last year at about $30 Million. While criticizing Cunningham and preventing him from taking steps that would put the city back on its financial feet, Organized Crime has plundered the County Government to the extent that it will require major increases this year and beyond to balance the budget. But that does not stop Organized Crime from handing out patronage jobs to assure continued loyalty and dependable voting patterns, and no bid contracts to favored vendors who are in the habit of contributing early and often to Organized Crime campaign coffers. On this much we agree with Pat. But then he rambles on about the Council wants ONLY a $10Million tax increase while Cunningham, according to the man from Uranus, wants a $20Million. Hold the phone there, just one red hot minute, space boy. If you have not spent the last few months in a fall out shelter, and you know how to read, and it doesn’t matter that you read, English, Spanish, Farsi, Urdu, then you would know, that Cunningham has been trying to prevent any tax increase with his restructuring plan, HELLO!

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