Posted by Ugly Duckling News Service--Special to UTN on July 08, 2003 at 10:33:43:

The text below is fiction intended as political satire and humor!

Lyndhurst, NJ–A spokesperson for the firm of Scarinci and Hollenbeck said today that the firm's newest client, an unnamed middle eastern despot and his two sons, is the real reason that Scarinci asked not to be reappointed Counsel to the Jersey City Redevelopment Agency. The client, recently deposed as head of state has reportedly paid a record cash retainer of $1 Billion in bullion. "Junior Maldonado, unfortunately will have to take a back seat to this client," said the spokesperson.

The new client needs the services of a firm with the environmental expertise of Scarinci and Hollenbeck as well as the firm's experience dealing with governmental entities. The caseload will probably involve multilateral international treaties. The spokesman said that there will also be extensive feasibility studies as to land use in the former republic headed by the despot.

Well placed sources say the former head of state would like to return to the war-ravaged nation he left behind, not as head of state, but as a redeveloper, represented by Scarinci and Hollenbeck. Preliminary plans for rebuilding, say sources close to the project, include a dual use of the land which is mostly lunar landscape: arrid, desolate, and barren, but rich in oil. The largest part of the area, in the north would be landfill with contracts to accept all classes of waste from sources in the Northeastern United States. The smaller southern portion would become the world largest Mega-Gas Station featuring self and full service for Very Large Bulk Carriers.

Donald Scarinci said "The client represents a challenge for which our firm is ideally suited--a politically controversial figure with a troubled family history and issues dealing with land use and evironmental impact and governmental relations, our chief areas of specialization."

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